Are you ready to change absolutely everything and to provoke absolutely nothing? To participate in futile ventures? Then EPSI is the right place for you: We are providing zero-potential career paths to bright individuals like you!
Head of Research & Development & Manager for Basically Everything
Most EPSIs claim to have sort of scientific background and sort of management experience. But we always try to achieve challenging goals and meet demanding expectations. So we are looking for a person with a proven track record in R&D management and a post-graduate education in management skills - Master of Business Avoidance preferred [(C) Sammelraum]. In addition we expect knowledge and experience in basic skills you need to survive in today's complicated and challenging business world like: exploring deep blue (diving) and setting up sound bridges and any gadget you may imagine
Corporate Health Officer & Chief Social Engineer
As these web pages may imply to the valued visitor, typical EPSI managers and employees have limited capabilities to communicate with normal people (Check out our the vacancy at the bottom of this page as well!) and to integrate well into what is widely known as the REAL LIFE. The EPSI way of life usually poses a challenge to mental and physical health. In order to be compliant with the galactic health standards, EPSI has decided to hire a Health Officer responsible for: Organizing meetings characterized by space and time co-ordinates instead of URLs and monitoring and auditing EPSI health status. The CHO / CSO is responsible for nothing less than the life of all EPSIs and is thus the most important person in charge of keeping the myth of EPSI alive.
Intercultural Business Development Manager, specialized on Hillybilly Painting Contests
We look for a person gifted with extraordinary communication skills, an academic education in fine arts and a multi-national background. The ideal applicatant for this job is born in a small village whose name contains a 4 letter female surname, incl. two A and two Ns. An applicant from less exotic reagions - such as Eastern Asia - would also be acceptable if he, she or it qualifies for the most demanding job at EPSI as well: working as Paintblog's personal sales manager - selling blogged paint and painted blog to the universe.
Even EPSI needs a small percentage of employees which are just NORMAL or at least more normal than the others. That's why we are desparately seeking for you!. In particular we need someboday that ...
(No, we do NOT need sombody, because Somebody is already member of the team.)
.. So we need somebody (excluding anybody that may be assigned the official title of Somebody in the EPSI board) that does real, normal, down-to-earth work, such as: Painting on the rim of canvas and creating art by making use of the self-organizing power of gravity, that is: paintings falling down. We have pointed out the down-to earth approach, didn_t we??